Anxiety And That Sunday Evening Feeling!

As I write this article, it is Sunday night; I have the football playing on my second computer screen, and I am thinking about Monday and what is on my list of things to do, my appointments, and other commitments.  I’m busy, really very busy, and I also have to fit in a trip to the gym ......and I’m thinking about my vacation to Europe in a month’s time and, blah blah blah!

You get the picture. It is all rather busy, and honestly, I don’t think anyone would hold it against me if I felt an itsy bitsy little bit overwhelmed, and yet I am very relaxed. In fact, not at all overwhelmed! 

So, it got me thinking about a time a decade ago when I still lived in London and worked as a lawyer in the City. It reminded me of conversations I had with fellow lawyer friends about their Sunday evenings and how they were frequently filled with anxiety. We were all the same. It would get to Sunday evening, and suddenly that feeling would hit like a truck. The joy and fun of what you did over the weekend suddenly halt. The worries and anticipation about the work week ahead and who or what would ruin your day first could overwhelm and beat every positive and joyful feeling from the weekend out of you. That assumes you were not working all weekend, which was so frequently the case! 

And honestly, even with the benefit of hindsight, it is still unclear whether many of those feelings were justified. Were they interpretations or facts? Do we just allow ourselves to fuel feelings of overwhelm and dread for nothing? We add anticipation to false interpretation allowing your mood to take a nose dive, so you start to feel the dread and associated feelings even without the justification to do so. 

So, everything becomes a problem. You look around your apartment, thinking about everything you failed to achieve. The lack of food in the place or, god forbid, clean socks or underwear! Then you check your work email because clearly, you need to add a little more fuel to the fire, and if you are not being irritable with those around you by this point, I’m really impressed!  I'll be even more impressed if you get much sleep after all that. Either that or you are telling fibs, but I won’t hold it against you. I get it; you are embarrassed.  So, please do me a favor and stop beating yourself up right now. 

So stop allowing yourself to get into a Sunday rut and start enjoying your weekend more.....In an ideal world, I suggest you relax more, adopt a healthy, preferably vegetarian style diet, sleep well, meditate, make healthy choices, get to the gym, then modern art galleries, and spend plenty of time organizing yourself……But really! Listen, I was a lawyer; I was always too busy with “important” things to do anything else, and I get it........

Every Sunday, I would make myself almost ill with anxiety at what was coming the following morning, let alone the week. With the best will in the world, any high-stress job is going to mean you have enough to think about, so in lieu of all of those fantastic healthy choices, which by the way, are really good ideas, just try taking it a bit easier and give yourself a break so you can try to get rid of those Sunday evening blues. You deserve to take baby steps to make significant changes to your life.

So here is the pitch, but it is not for sales; it’s a life-choice pitch! When you work with a life coach, they have been trained in skills and tools to help make your life better, and as someone who has been through the process of transformation with my own coaches over the last five years, trust me, it really does work!

When I partner with people, I encourage them to make project plans for significant areas in their lives to maintain clarity, momentum, and traction. I hold them to account without overwhelming them, and I support them. They suffer breakdowns as, ultimately, these can and frequently will lead to beautiful breakthroughs!  

So, as you read this on your Monday journey into the office, please take a moment to think about the message I am sharing with you. When I reflect on my past life and how I live now, I wonder what all the Hubba and wasted time worrying about silly things were about.

So, just to remind you, it’s Sunday evening. I am thinking about how busy my Monday and the rest of the week ahead are. I have so much going on! No problem.  I’ve got this all-in hand! Time to have a great night’s sleep. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to a stress-free productive week. 

Is Hiring a Career Coach the Right Move for You?

Have you ever wondered whether working with a career coach would be helpful? Hiring one requires time and money, so it’s essential to do your due diligence before making the investment. Here are five reasons you might consider hiring one.

• You don’t know what you want to do next. If you’re unsure what will bring you fulfillment, a coach can help you consider possibilities that are a departure from your past experiences or that you hadn’t considered.

• You want to improve your resume and LinkedIn profile drastically. Maybe you need support in identifying transferable skills that are relevant to a role you’re interested in, even if they don’t match up precisely with what’s in the job description.

• You aren’t over your previous job. Perhaps the way your last job ended has left you feeling wounded and lacking confidence. A career coach can encourage you to move past unpleasant career experiences and rebuild your belief in yourself.

• You’ve been interviewing, but it's going nowhere. A coach can help you refine your answers to other common interview questions, polish your executive presence, and practice with you, so you feel confident in your following interview. 

• You’re not moving up in your career. Coaches can decode performance feedback from your manager to uncover behaviors you need to adjust to continue to grow.

OVERWHELM!

It's a funny old world at the moment, and noticeable how many people find themselves a feeling of overwhelm for a variety of reasons. But what does that mean exactly?

It is an individual thing, and the definition is broad, but a simple one is that overwhelm most commonly means to cause to be overcome with emotion as a result of an amount of something (work, stress, etc.) that's just too much to handle. And you shouldn't feel ashamed of feeling overwhelmed or consider yourself weak or unable to cope. It can happen to the best of us, and we all react differently.

I have a challenge for you. Give yourself a break and take a moment to get some elevation as to everything going on.

Instead of feeling like everything is coming at you at a hundred miles per hour, and building up anxiety, take a moment, breathe deeply, write down each task or issue to be completed and instead of feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders, look upon each of these as a small matter to be overcome.

More times than not, this approach will help to make your professional and personal life more manageable, releasing the negativity that is taking up your energy and hopefully leading to a much more fulfilled existence.

And remember, give yourself a break! You deserve it.

Saying Sorry Doesn’t Need To Be The Hardest Thing to Do!

A sincere apology should always be offered when your actions have had a negative impact on other people. Even if you do not fully understand why someone is so upset, respect their feelings, and accept that your actions are the root of the problem.

Don’t pass the buck, or use your apology as a way of blaming someone else. Don’t plead mitigating or extenuating circumstances, or engage in retrospective regrets: “With hindsight, I should have…” Don’t argue that your misdeeds were essentially based on a misunderstanding of salient circumstances. Take full responsibility for your actions. Never ever use the phrase ”I’m sorry if I offended/disappointed/enraged you.” You must fully own the fault – no ifs, not buts.

An apology will be much more persuasive if you acknowledge, and even reiterate, the nature of the fault: “I’m sorry I was so irritable last night” is more specific than a simple “I’m sorry”, and actually recognises the other person’s grievance. Never temper your apologies with accusations or insinuations: it will negate the impact if an apology is immediately followed by self-justification or further criticism. If you have committed a real faux-pas consider sending a handwritten note – but only after you have offered a verbal apology, otherwise it will look like a lesser meaner.

Some societies have a habit to apologise for other people’s actions. If someone barges into you, a muttered “sorry” is misplaced. Constant, needless apologising, when you are not the actual offender, devalues the currency, and will lessen the impact of a genuine, heartfelt mea culpa. It is important that you recognise when an apology is called for and that you sincerely acknowledge the magnitude of the offence.