Coaching the Toxic Leader: What Most People Won’t Tell You

Let’s be honest: toxic leaders aren’t rare. They’re often sitting at the top of the org chart—smart, ambitious, driven… and deeply dysfunctional. 

Over the years, I’ve coached leaders who: 

• Alienate teams through narcissism 

• Drain energy with emotional highs and lows 

• Undermine progress through passive-aggression 

• Lead with logic but lack emotional presence 

These behaviors aren’t always malicious. They’re often patterns rooted in fear, trauma, and survival mechanisms. 

So, can these leaders change? Sometimes. But only when coaching is: 

✔ Structured 

✔ Empathic 

✔ Boundary-driven 

✔ Rooted in behavioral accountability 

For example: 

• A narcissist needs esteem—but also challenge, tactfully framed. 

• A manic-depressive needs structure and perspective from allies. 

• A passive-aggressive leader needs confrontation—without conflict. 

• An emotionally disconnected exec needs help linking physical symptoms to emotional cues. 

The job of an executive coach isn’t to diagnose—it’s to create a safe, honest space for reflection and behavior change. Coaching can’t replace therapy, but it can be a bridge to insight. 

With the right support, even the most difficult leaders can begin to shift. Not because they’re forced to—but because they’re finally understood.